FAQ & REVIEWS
What to Know Before Joining a Sex Club Retreat or Online Course
Is Sex Club for me?
Can I attend if I am single?
Absolutely. You don't need to be in a relationship, or attend with somebody else, to take part. Our events are fully inclusive and valuable to everyone regardless of relationship status or relationship model, age (18+), ethnicity, gender expression, sexual orientation, experience, religious beliefs or non-beliefs, income, and whether you have a lot of sex, none at all, or anything in between.
You're welcome to join as you are, alone, with your partner(s) or with friends. Many people attend solo, and the workshops are structured so everyone feels included and connected from the start.
Can I attend if I'm queer, straight, non-monogamous, monogamous, or kink-identified?
Yes, and we hope you will. Sex Club is built for a genuinely wide range of experiences, identities and relationship structures, not just one version of what intimacy is supposed to look like. You don't need to explain or justify how you relate to yourself, your partners or your sexuality in order to belong in the room.
What if my partner doesn't want to come with me?
That's completely fine. You can attend on your own and still work through material that's relevant to your relationship, and many people find it useful to process what they're learning with a partner afterwards, even if that partner wasn't in the room. If you'd like support thinking through how to bring what you've learned home, or if you're thinking of attending together and have questions, do contact us. We're happy to talk about it.
Will the workshop be helpful if I haven't experienced penetrative sex?
Yes. You don't need to have had penetrative sex, or any particular kind of sexual experience, to benefit from the workshop. We explore far more than technique. Our conversations and exercises may cover communication, desire, boundaries, intimacy, pleasure, shame, playfulness, sensuality, self-discovery and how we relate to ourselves and others. The workshops make room for a wide range of experiences, whether that's having a lot of sex, having little or none, enjoying it, finding it difficult, feeling uncertain about it, or simply wanting to understand yourself more deeply.
Do I need to have attended Sex Club Retreat I before attending Retreat II or III?
No previous experience is required. You're welcome to attend the weekend retreats or online course in any order you like. Each retreat and course explores a different set of themes and works as a complete experience in its own right. We explain everything you need to know as the weekend unfolds.
Is it possible to participate if I live in a different country?
Yes. You can join one of our online courses from wherever you live, as long as the course time works for your time zone, or you can travel to one of our in-person events in London or Berlin. We regularly welcome people from different countries, backgrounds and first languages. If you have questions about accessibility, travel or participating in English, get in touch and we'll talk it through with you.
What happens during the workshops?
Is there sex happening at Sex Club, or can we look for someone to have sex with?
No. At Sex Club events, we don't have sex, and we don't use the space to look for someone to have sex with. We talk about it. Our courses and retreats are designed for you to inquire, in a non-judgemental environment, into your own experience of sex, including your desires, fears, ways of communicating and the things you don't usually get to discuss. You'll also hear from other people and learn from their experiences, including their challenges and their pleasures. Sex Club is an educational and exploratory space rather than a dating event, play party or environment for sexual contact, and we ask everyone to respect that boundary throughout.
Is nudity involved in any of the exercises?
No. None of the exercises ask you to undress. The work happens through conversation, small movements and different kinds of agreed, non-sexual touch. If you're ever unsure what an exercise involves before it starts, just ask, and we'll walk you through it.
Are there any restrictions or expectations around physical touch?
Yes. Sex Club is a place where we share experiences and explore somatic exercises outside of a sexual context. All touch is optional, opt-in and non-sexual. Consent is actively requested rather than assumed, and you can say no, ask for an exercise to be adapted, or change your mind at any point, even after it's already begun. Choosing not to take part in touch will never exclude you from the workshop. Exercises involving touch might be as simple as holding hands, sitting back-to-back, or noticing how it feels to give and receive with clearly agreed contact. We explain each exercise fully before you decide whether to take part.
Does the workshop involve working in pairs?
Yes, the workshops involve working in pairs and in small groups of three to five people. For some exercises we'll invite you to work with different participants, so everyone encounters a range of experiences and perspectives. You'll also have a smaller, consistent group that you check in with throughout the day or weekend. You're never required to work with a particular person. You can express a preference, decline an exercise, or ask a facilitator for support at any point. Everything is optional, and saying no is always welcome.
Is what I share during the workshop kept confidential?
Yes. At the start of each retreat we talk through a group agreement together, and confidentiality is one of the first things on it. You're welcome to talk about your own experience afterwards, in your own words, but we ask everyone not to share the details of what other people disclosed.
Is this therapy, and what happens if something difficult comes up emotionally?
Sex Club isn't group therapy, and it isn't a substitute for therapy either. We're upfront about that from the start, although we know the process can be therapeutic. This kind of material can bring up real feelings, sometimes ones people didn't see coming. We, Jules and Conor, work as counsellors outside of Sex Club, so holding space when something lands harder than planned is very much part of what we do.
At the same time, we ask everyone to take responsibility for their own experience and boundaries, with an awareness of their own limitations and the limitations of the space and the group itself. We set up a container that's meant to hold trust and honesty, but we can't hold everything for you. A group process like this can bring up resistance and triggers, and that's normal rather than a sign something's gone wrong. Resistance and triggers can actually be areas of growth, since they let us look, in real time, at things we don't usually want to look at. Whether you want to engage with that in the moment is always your judgement to make, and participation is optional throughout. You're free to step out at any point if that feels healthier than staying, and if you do, please let us know so we can check in and make sure you're okay.
If you're prone to a freeze response in triggering situations, or if you've experienced abuse or trauma through touch or in other ways, we ask you to speak to your therapist before deciding to join.
Is alcohol or any substance use part of the retreats?
We ask everyone to arrive sober and stay that way through the sessions themselves. This work depends on people being genuinely present and able to consent clearly to what's happening, and that's hard to do if you're not fully there. What you do outside of session hours is your own business.
Practical questions
What is the cost, and are payment plans available?
Pricing varies by retreat and format, and you'll find current prices for each date on our events page at sexclubme.com. We offer tiered pricing depending on your income. And if cost is still what's holding you back, get in touch anyway. We try to keep Sex Club accessible and can often work something out.
What's the group size?
Groups usually range from 9 to 30 people. Small enough that you're never just a face in the room, but large enough that you get a real mix of people, perspectives and experiences to learn from over the weekend.
What should I bring, and how should I prepare?
Comfortable clothing you can move and sit on the floor in, a notebook if you like to write things down in the breaks, and as much curiosity as you can manage, even if it comes mixed with nerves. Most people arrive a little apprehensive. That's completely normal, and it tends to settle once the group starts talking.
Can I arrange an individual follow-up session?
Yes, depending on availability. You may be able to arrange an online or in-person one-to-one follow-up session with Conor or Jules. Since neither of us lives in London, any in-person session needs to be discussed and agreed in advance, so please get in touch before travelling if this matters to you.
Is there any parking?
The venue has a private car park with three spaces. Write to us and we'll reserve one for you, allocated on a first-come, first-served basis. We'll send the latest travel information to participants before the event on request.
Can you recommend somewhere to stay near the venue?
Previous participants have stayed at the Rose and Crown or Brownswood, both close to the venue. Please check their current prices, facilities and availability directly before booking. The venue owner may also be able to put you in touch with a nearby Airbnb host, so contact us privately for their details. These are informal suggestions rather than accommodation providers formally connected with Sex Club.