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PRESS
Amy Copper, Secret Seed Society
"not therapy, but therapeutic"
"evolution of sexuality linked to my ability to communicate "
Mark Wagner, MKII
"What a blessing to have discovered Sex Club! A sharing circle where we can finally impart our experience, thoughts and feelings on a theme that concerns all of us: Sexuality. Staying well clear of personal judgement, opinions and dogma the atmosphere is warm and welcoming and most importantly acceptant of one and all. For me personally, the 'session' facilitated the integrated realisation that from here on, the evolution of my sexuality was intricately connected to my ability to communicate about sexuality.... So what better place to start than Sex Club!"
"evolution of sexuality linked to my ability to communicate "
Mariella M.
"Sex club is permissive, it’s refreshing, it’s open-minded/hearted/bodied, welcoming of honesty, reticence, differences in opinion, sincere exchanges... Until I attended, I didn't realise the true value of coming together and sharing about a topic that so often stays sitting in the margins. There's a freedom and a relief in giving voice to taboos, normalising experiences, and learning about each other's tastes, practices etc. I always come away feeling more connected to myself, very connected to others, and grateful for the opportunity to have put into words some of my less-explored thoughts and feelings around sex. It's empowering, it's interesting, it's even somewhat comforting. I recommend it."
Posted: 28th Apr 2022/ Thomas Westerholz & Monica Costa
"My Shame evaporated as it was spoken"
" Sex Club! What is that all about, you might ask, just as I did? Well, it was not what I expected, but better. Like most participants, I felt a bit hesitant at first and unsure about what I got myself into, but as the event started, I was quickly put at ease by the fantastic hosts.
The first day started with sharing and speaking about some of the challenges and shame we hold around sexuality. I felt some resistance but went along, and as the day went on, I felt a slow opening, and it became clear that many of us struggle with the same issues and shame around our sexuality.
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I sensed that my shame evaporated the more it was spoken, and I felt more free, accepted, and joyful.
Perhaps there is a truth to the saying that shadows don’t survive being exposed to the light.
With the complete lack of good sex education and the many nuances involved in enjoying a connection to our own and others’ sexuality, this felt like a breath of fresh air.
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Posted: 11th February 2019/ TimeOut
"A talk that will change how you think about sex"
"This event offers a conversational (and confidential) social that Juliane Mueller started hosting in her living room, and has migrated to The Apple Tree pub. The intention? ‘To break taboos around sexuality by listening and talking, with curiosity,’ says Mueller. You can turn up and share, or sit back and listen."
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Posted: July 01 2019/ Anya Pearse
"Anya Pearse writes about her experience of our Intimacy Jams"
"Was it weird to sit there amidst people discussing their sex lives? Honestly, no. It just felt good to honour and witness other people’s journey through this compelling yet often challenging territory. The facilitators, Chloe and Jules, modelled such radical honesty and heart-full listening, that it felt entirely easy to both listen and share.
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And then, after lunch, things got practical — and, in increments, more physical. From walking around and slowly raising our gaze to make eye contact (a miracle in itself, in London), to sitting and making prolonged eye contact with others, the emphasis was on boundaries, on finding our “yes”, our “no”, and our “maybe”, and to drop the performative aspect of any physical touch or engagement.
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(For those of you who feel a cold sweat at the thought of eye-gazing; it’s true, it IS challenging for most of us. I spontaneously laughed with some people, cried with others, and felt utterly locked-out by one. All entirely normal, and all enhanced through sentence stems like “I feel vulnerable as I sit before you because…” Being able to articulate our discomfort alleviates shame — a huge barrier to intimacy in itself.)
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Finally, the carefully contained and boundaried touch practises culminated in triads of touch; groups of three people, all taking turns to experience 10 minutes of touch tailored to their request (and, of course, within the givers’ comfort zones).
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I ended up happily sandwiched between two beautiful souls as we spooned; it didn’t quite produce a “cuddle coma” but it felt so natural and so comfortable that we couldn’t bear to break apart to discuss the experience. The fact that they were strangers merely hours ago didn’t seem relevant.
I left feeling sleepy, happy and replete; full of oxytocin and a general appreciation for all things humanity. In a world where so much touch is either sexualised or medicalised, it felt good to inhabit a space where safety and sensuality are queen."
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Posted: Monday May 13 2019/ Unforbidden
"Sex Club gets interviewed by Unforbidden"
"Do you ever feel like you are too ‘in your head’ during sex? Too much performance anxiety? Unforbidden get together with the wonderful women behind Sex Club - Juliane Mueller (Jules) and Chloe Wisdom - who host playful events designed to break taboos around intimacy and sexuality, through conversation and experiential workshops. We talk about bedroom struggles, embracing vulnerability and how to be ‘in your body’ during sex. They tell us that one of the most common struggles that men and women face is performance anxiety. I’m sure a lot of us can relate to these worries!
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“How do I look?” “Am I too loud?” “Did I come too soon?” “Why can’t I orgasm?” “I’ve lost my erection”
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Many of us are too ‘in our heads’, and this can underpin many of the problems (including performance pressure) that we experience in the bedroom. In our society, we are conditioned to ‘doing’ instead of ‘being’. ‘Being’ is the ability to help us deal calmly with life and be much more present and at peace through our day. Jules and Chloe stress that it is important to redress this balance and embrace ‘being’. How do we do this?
Read the full article for our top 4 tips to break free of this struggle!
Posted: Monday May 13 2019/ Unforbidden
"Sex Club gets interviewed by Unforbidden"
"Being polyamorous requires you to have a huge level of self-awareness around your needs and boundaries. Not only that, but, Chloe adds, “it takes willingness to have continuous communication with your partner(s), and courage to step outside your comfort zone and be vulnerable”. There will be a lot of difficult conversations to face, as you confront a lot of deep conditioning around jealousy and facing insecurities. For example, we think it’s supposed to hurt if your partner has sex with someone else, or that jealousy is a sign that you love someone. Polyamory certainly challenges these notions, and encourages us to be reflective on why we feel jealousy, and to accept these feelings. When we accept, those negative feelings may slowly and naturally release but it is helpful not to have this expectation. Be kind to yourself. It helps if we can have transparent communication, and go at the pace that feels right for the individual.
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If you choose to become polyamorous, you should ideally have a personal development journey mapped out. Think about what feels authentic to you. Where do you want to push yourself? Remember: you have a comfort zone, a stretch zone and a panic zone. You don’t grow in the comfort zone, but the panic zone is counter-productive to growth. You want to find what stretches you but doesn’t make you panic. "